Dear baby Roland has joined us!
He was born thursday, March 25 at 5:42 am. He was 8 lbs, 5 oz and 21 inches long with a 14 inch head.~
It was wednesday, March 24th when I started to worry that I wouldn’t get the home birth I had so dreamed of. At 41 weeks and 2 days, I could feel that 42 week cutoff for a home birth looming ahead. In my hypnosis practice and birthing visualizations, I had imagined birthing in the safety, silence and seclusion of our little home, and thoughts of a hospital seemed to be the opposite of that. So when I told my husband that we may not have our home birth if this babe didn’t decide to come soon, I knew I might as well make peace with that, as stress and frustration don’t help anything in birth. We decided to send a gentle message to our unborn child and the universe that we were ready to meet them that very night, if they were ready. We hunkered into bed for a movie around 8 and when my eyes started getting heavy half-way through it, something inside told me “sleep now”, and so I did.
I woke up around 10:45pm to a pressure wave that was more than the mild period-like cramps I had been feeling for a few days. This just had more power behind it, enough that when another one came about 10 minutes later, I realized how uncomfortable it was to lay down through them, so got up without disturbing my husband.
I know they say that if labor starts in the night, you should do your best to get rest, but my pressure waves were too strong to sleep through and getting steadily closer together. I got on my birth ball and leaned over the back of a chair while saying a silent “Ooopen” as each wave came through me. It felt wonderful to imagine my cervix gently opening (this soon turned into “Oooooh”, which I would chant in a low tone with every PW until my baby was born). During my pregnancy, I really learned to trust my body and the power of the mind, so I knew my cervix was opening more and more with each pressure wave, and had a hunch that this baby would be here by dawn even though this was my first baby.
My husband woke up around this time (midnight), and this is when things really picked up. Pressure waves were about 4 minutes apart, and getting more power behind them. I had put some water on for pasta because I knew I’d need the energy, but by the time it was boiling, pressure waves were so frequent that I didn’t think I’d have time to get out the pasta and pour it in between waves.
At this point, my husband filled the bathtub for me. I stayed there basking in delicious warm water while he filled the inflatable birthing pool with water. I ate pasta with my eyes closed and my mind calm between pressure waves. My faith in the safety and beauty of childbirth made my mental calmness unshakable.
Between two “Ooooh’s”, which were coming so close now, I didn’t bother to guess how many minutes apart they were, I puked over the side of the tub. I had the thought that this might be a sign that transition was close, but it had only been an hour or two since things really started getting going, so I didn’t think much more of it. With my wonderful husband toweling up the mess, I hoped into the half-filled birthing tub and adopted a frog-like squat to feel the warm water on my belly.
Time sort of warped and before we knew it, PWs seemed to be coming almost back to back. We really hadn’t wanted to call the midwife too early because we wanted it just the two of us as long as possible. But when I started to feel pressure in my bottom, I told DH to call the midwife. He asked if I was absolutely sure, because he didn’t want to wake her at 4am if we were just going to labor through till morning. I decided to hold off, mainly because I was really in a zone and didn’t want to talk much, and doubting that this could really be “it” so quickly. A few PWs with bottom pressure later, I said “call her NOW!”
I remember thinking how funny it was that our first call to the midwife was, “oh, her pressure waves are about a minute apart, and she’s feeling rectal pressure”. Needless to say, she said she was on her way.
The very next PW after my husband got off the phone with the midwife, I was surprised by an involuntary pushing sensation. It made my “Oooohh” sound very different indeed! It sort of sounded like I was dry-heaving. That was it, my body was pushing and the midwife wasn’t there yet! My husband and I both thought to ourselves that we just might be having this baby unassisted.
Pushing felt much different than I thought it would. This was the one thing that I feel could have shaken my mental focus. It felt like the power of the regular PWs had become more intense and focussed on my bottom. Not painful, I just was surprised at the sensation – truly like I was about to poop my baby out my bottom! To remain focussed through this, I just refused to entertain any thoughts of doubt.
The midwife soon arrived, and told me my sounds were wonderful and just encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing. A little later she said that I could take the power that I was releasing vocally, and redirect it through my bottom to give a little more oomph to my body’s pushes.
At one point I reached into myself to feel my baby’s head (amazing!). After a few more PWs she said the head was out. I decided not to touch it at this point because I was just so in a zone and didn’t want the shock and bliss of feeling that head to shake my focus because I knew at any moment I’d be holding my baby. With the next PW I got more upright so that I could deliver my baby in a squat through the front. I reached down and pulled him up and was immediately transformed forever. The bliss of that moment is forever imprinted on my mind, and I often relive those few seconds with more clarity than I can recall any other time in my life. I was surprised by how heavy he felt (you mean this full heavy baby just came out of me?!). After a few minutes I (very carefully, as I was feeling almost drunk on good hormones) stepped out of the pool and went to the bed to birth the placenta, which happened about half an hour later naturally. Then my husband cut the cord and my babe nursed contently.
I can’t believe he’s already been here a month! His birth just confirmed everything I had come to believe about natural childbirth and that it can be a joyful, beautiful and intimate experience without any fear.
I didn’t actually listen to any of the hypnobabies tracks while in my birthing time, as it just didn’t feel like what I wanted in the moment. I still see how all of the practice helped tremendously in my mental focus and confidence – in fact, I think I was so confident with everything I had learned from Hypnobabies and in reading tons of really inspirational birth stories, that I didn’t feel the need to listen to the tracks or actively “use” my hypnosis during my birthing time. That’s pretty powerful stuff!
Thanks for reading Roland’s birth story if you’ve made it to the end:)
All I can hope this contributes is yet another account of birth going beautifully and encouragement for all you Moms who are preparing for your own beautiful birth.
If I can give anyone any advice, I’d say KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO IT! All of the preparation you are doing now WILL come through for you in the moment in a way that’s perfect for you.
Sending you and your tucked-in babe’s love and good vibes,
Jenny (first-time Mom)